Wouldn’t it be great to get some free help to write your online dating profile?
If you’ve been using the dating sites (we strongly advise that you do) and without much luck, maybe your profile isn’t attracting the right people.
Most people struggle with writing the narrative part of a dating profile, or don’t realize how important that part of the profile really is.
When I was seriously dating using these sites, I spent plenty of time perusing men’s profiles and was most attracted to (and likely to reach out or respond to) men whose profile narratives actually said something.
I was especially drawn to profiles that differentiated those men from the sea of other men who had minimal or same-old information in the narrative section.
Artificial Intelligence (AI) has been in the news so much lately, I’m sure you know something about it.
AI is used today for lots of different things, like:
- Planning workouts and meals
- Organizing a messy computer desktop
- Organizing research for a thesis
- Skimming dozens of academic articles
- Sorting through an archive of pictures
- Learning and playing with language
- Designing parts for spaceships
- Creating an app and fixing bugs in code
- Playing Pong and 3D games
- Making a Spotify playlist
And people use it to write different kinds of content, like:
- Wedding speeches and vows
- Homework
- Email messages
- An appeal on an insurance denial
- Excel formulas
- Getting feedback on fiction
- Resumes, LinkedIn profiles, cover letters and other job search materials
Did you know that there are free AI platforms that you can use to help you create the narrative for your dating profile, and to write messages to potential dates?
The one that’s most talked about these days is ChatGPT. Both Cosmo and I have been using it for various business purposes.
What is ChatGPT and how does it work?
Developed by OpenAI, an AI research and deployment company, ChatGPT (Chat Generative Pre-Trained Transformer) is a natural language AI chatbot that interacts in a human-like conversational way.
It can answer questions about most any topic and help you compose emails and other content. And it will answer followup questions, admit its mistakes, challenge incorrect premises, and reject inappropriate requests.
Basically, you feed information, or prompts, into the software and it spits out a narrative.
The more specific the info and data you feed it, the more specific the narrative it provides will be.
According to ZDNet:
“ChatGPT’s power is the ability to parse queries and produce fully-fleshed out answers and results based on most of the world’s digitally-accessible text-based information — at least information that existed as of its time of training prior to 2021.”
So when it responds to your prompts, the information provided is based only on what already exists online.
ChatGPT (and other AI) has some drawbacks
Before I get into how to use this platform, be aware that it has some limitations, according to the company itself:
- ChatGPT sometimes writes plausible-sounding but incorrect or nonsensical answers.
- ChatGPT is sensitive to tweaks to the input phrasing or attempting the same prompt multiple times. For example, given one phrasing of a question, the model can claim to not know the answer, but given a slight rephrase, can answer correctly.
- The model is often excessively verbose and overuses certain phrases, such as restating that it’s a language model trained by OpenAI.
- Ideally, the model would ask clarifying questions when the user provided an ambiguous query. Instead, our current models usually guess what the user intended.
- While we’ve made efforts to make the model refuse inappropriate requests, it will sometimes respond to harmful instructions or exhibit biased behavior.
As noted above, ChatGPT accesses and parses information from what already exists online that is open to the public.
It’s doubtful that the particulars of your personality, lifestyle, and dating wants and dealbreakers is sitting somewhere online, available to AI chatbots.
That means that AI won’t be able to provide much more than generic information about you, if you only provide them generic information in your prompts.
The dating profile narrative they write for you should be considered a starting point.
You’ll probably need to edit, augment and personalize what they provide.
Along with writing your dating profile from scratch, you can use ChatGPT to improve your existing profile, by uploading it into their system.
One caution: If you’ve included any sensitive or identifying information in your online dating profile, it makes sense to delete that before putting it into ChatGPT.
How I used ChatGPT to write an online dating profile
I fed the platform a snippet of info about myself. It took me about 5 minutes to write this brief prompt and only about 5 seconds for them to respond.
Prompt #1 for ChatGPT
Here’s my first prompt:
Write me a 300 to 400 word dating profile to attract single men aged 60 to 70.
I am a 65 year old single woman looking for romance, love, fun and a life partner who is fair-minded, generous and considerate. I feel that kindness is an under-rated but critical element in a successful relationship.
I don’t drink alcohol and my partner should be a non-drinker, non-smoker who is dedicated to eating and living a healthy lifestyle, so we will both live a long happy life together.
Here’s the info they provided:
I am a 65-year-old single woman who is looking for a life partner to share love, laughter, and adventure. I believe that kindness, fairness, and generosity are the cornerstone of a successful relationship. Therefore, I am seeking a man who shares these values.
I have a wide range of interests, from outdoor activities like hiking and biking, to cultural pursuits such as attending concerts, visiting museums, and traveling to new and exciting destinations. I also enjoy spending quiet evenings at home, curled up with a good book or watching a favorite movie.
I value health and wellness, and I am committed to living a healthy lifestyle. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke, and I prefer a partner who shares these values. I believe that a healthy body and mind are essential to enjoying a happy and fulfilling life together.
In terms of personality, I am outgoing, warm, and compassionate. I enjoy meeting new people, and I am always interested in learning about their unique experiences and perspectives. I am also a good listener, and I value open and honest communication in a relationship.
I am looking for a man who is kind-hearted, intelligent, and emotionally mature. Someone who is passionate about life and shares my interests in travel, culture, and nature. I am seeking a partner who is willing to take the time to get to know me and is interested in building a strong and lasting relationship.
If you are a non-drinker, non-smoker, and share my values of kindness, fairness, and generosity, I would love to hear from you. Let’s take the first step on this exciting journey together and see where it leads us.
As you can see, it’s pretty well written, but they’ve made assumptions about me and added quite a bit about my personality that I didn’t include in my prompt.
Prompt #2 for ChatGPT
Then, I posted a longer version, with new, more specific info added to the first prompt.
Here’s my second prompt:
Write me a 300 to 400 word dating profile to attract single men aged 60 to 70.
I am a 65 year old single woman looking for romance, love, fun and a life partner who is fair-minded, generous and considerate. I feel that kindness is an under-rated but critical element in a successful relationship.
A few of the things I like: going to farmer’s markets, day trips exploring local hidden gems, healthy but comforting rustic cooking, quiet times just being together, watching old Hollywood movies (especially musicals).
My musical tastes are varied: from Sinatra and Ella to classic R&B, early rock (including lesser known artists like Dan Hicks, Maria Muldaur, and Southside Johnny), funk and jazz. I am not much of a country music fan, except for the old-timey kind and bluegrass.
Some of my favorite shows are Better Call Saul, Modern Family,
I don’t drink alcohol and my partner should be a non-drinker, non-smoker who is dedicated to eating and living a healthy lifestyle, so we will both live a long happy life together.
Here’s the 272-word content they offered up:
I am a vibrant 65 year old woman who is ready to find love and companionship. I am seeking a life partner who shares my values of kindness, generosity and consideration. To me, these qualities are fundamental to building a strong, long-lasting relationship.
I enjoy a variety of activities that keep me active and engaged with the world around me. I love going to farmer’s markets to discover new and interesting foods, taking day trips to explore hidden gems in my local area, and cooking healthy and comforting meals. In my free time, I enjoy watching old Hollywood movies, especially musicals, and listening to a wide range of music from Sinatra and Ella to classic R&B, early rock, funk, and jazz. Although I’m not a huge country music fan, I do enjoy the old-timey kind and bluegrass.
When it comes to television, I’m a big fan of shows like Better Call Saul and Modern Family. I appreciate good storytelling and well-crafted characters that draw me in and keep me engaged.
One thing that is very important to me is maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I don’t drink alcohol and I am looking for a partner who shares this lifestyle choice. I also prefer someone who doesn’t smoke and is committed to eating well and staying active. I believe that taking care of our bodies is essential to living a happy, fulfilled life together.
If you’re a kind-hearted, thoughtful man who is interested in building a deep and meaningful relationship, I would love to hear from you. Let’s explore the world together, share our passions, and build a life full of love and adventure.
This version fits exactly with the info I provided in my prompt. None of it is made up or exaggerated.
But it’s more corny than I’m comfortable with, so I would definitely massage it.
But can you see that, since I provided the platform more specific info about me, it provided a better profile?
My advice about using ChatGPT for your online dating profile
The platform is so easy to use. Just feed it info and out comes reasonably well-written content.
But the less specific info about yourself that you feed into it, the more generic the content they provide will be.
Take the time to jot down some specifics about who you are, the things you like to do, what and who you’re seeking in dating.
That will make for a profile that tells more than the basics about you.
Like me, if you’ve spent any time on dating sites perusing profiles, you know that you’re usually more attracted to those that offer up specifics about the person, instead of the usual generic info.
ChatGPT can be a good starting point, but don’t leave the details of what kind of person you are, and what differentiates you, entirely up to them.
Take a little time to compose a more telling prompt for them to work from.
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