Online dating can be intimidating at any age, especially when it comes to writing that all-important first message to an online dating match. And it’s even more daunting for singles over 60 who may not be familiar with the modern dating scene and its reliance on dating sites and dating apps.
However, with the right mindset and a little bit of effort, online dating can be a great way for seniors to meet new people and possibly even find love.
The first message sets the tone for the rest of the conversation and can be the difference between a promising connection and a missed opportunity. As the old adage says, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
Here are some tips for writing the perfect first message to attract the right dating partner.
Messaging Tips for Men
Keep it brief and to the point. It’s important to be concise in your first message and not ramble on. Keep it short and focus on one or two specific things that you liked about the person’s profile.
But don’t go too far with the “short and sweet.” A one or two-word message such as “What’s up?” or “Hey” won’t do much to attract a woman. Neither will a couple of emojis.
Avoid being overly complimentary or sexual. While it’s important to be genuine and show interest in the person you’re messaging, it’s also important to be respectful. Avoid making overly complimentary or sexual comments in your first message, as it can come across as creepy or inappropriate.
Ask a question or make a suggestion. One of the best ways to start a conversation is to ask a question or make a suggestion that requires more than a “yes” or “no” answer. This shows that you’re interested in getting to know the person and gives them an opportunity to respond and share more about themselves.
Messaging Tips for Women
Don’t be afraid to make the first move. It’s completely normal and acceptable for women to send the first message in online dating. That’s how I met Daisy. She reached out to me the first day I signed up on a dating site. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative and start a conversation with someone who you’re interested in.
Show your personality. Your first message is a chance to show off your personality and give the person a sense of who you are. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and let your personality shine through in your message.
Use humor. Humor can be a great way to break the ice and start a conversation. If you’re a naturally funny person, consider using a bit of humor in your first message to lighten the mood and make the person smile. However, don’t force humor if it doesn’t come naturally. Trying to be someone you’re not can attract dating partners who are incompatible.
If you’re not great with a joke, just keep it lighthearted. Lightheartedness is a trait that’s found in most personality types.
As Daisy says in an article on how to lighten up on your first date:
“Instead of just saying “I have a good sense of humor” or “I love a guy with a good sense of humor”, I did my best to indicate what kinds of things tickled me, by giving examples.
The men I dated often told me they became interested in me because of the nuggets I included in my profiles.”
Messaging Tips for Both Men and Women
Read the recipient’s profile carefully. Before you send a message, take time to read the person’s profile and get a sense of who they are and what they’re looking for. This will help you tailor your message and show that you’re interested in getting to know them.
Personalize your message. A generic message that could be sent to anyone will fall flat. It’s not likely to be as effective as a personalized message that shows you took the time to read the person’s profile and are genuinely interested in getting to know them.
Daisy has this example on how a personalized first message might look:
“I enjoyed reading your profile. I see you’re interested in [insert something you read in their profile]. I am, too. In fact, [insert a tidbit about the item].
Let me know if you’re interested. Hope to hear from you soon.
Have a great day!
[your profile name or handle]”
It’s brief yet personal and engaging.
Proofread your message. It’s important to proofread your message before sending it to avoid typos or errors. A message with spelling and grammar mistakes can come across as careless or lazy and may not make the best first impression.
Pretend you are sitting across from the person. Don’t forget that you are trying to connect with a real person with feelings, emotions, and a rich life story. When you imagine them sitting opposite you at a table, it can help make the online messaging more authentic.
Final Thoughts on the First Message
Overall, the key to crafting the perfect first message in your online dating outreach is to be genuine, respectful, and show interest in the person you’re messaging. With a little bit of effort in your first contact, you can start a meaningful conversation that will lead to good first dates.