You’ve been dating for what feels like ages. If you have no clear dating road map, you probably haven’t been very successful.
Months and months – maybe years – go by and you still haven’t found true love.
Maybe you got lucky a few times and met someone you liked enough to have several dates with, but mostly you’ve been going on too many bad or so-so first dates that went no further.
Maybe you got very lucky once or twice, and had a long-term relationship with someone you thought might be “the one”. Then things fell apart or went bad. She/he wasn’t who you thought they were.
Dating, in and of itself, is stressful and time-consuming. Online dating – not to be overlooked if you’re serious about finding someone – presents its own issues and challenges.
You may be turned off to dating entirely. You may have decided that it’s not worth the hassles. You’d rather be alone.
Clinical Psychologist Seth Meyers says that most people are terrible at dating and hate every minute of it. One of the main reasons he cites is impatience:
“The primary reason why impatience is a problem when it comes to dating is the fact that it often causes men and women to attach too quickly to someone who isn’t good for them, all for the sake of removing the negative stimulus (dating) as soon as possible.”
If dating has been a big bust for you – for too long – maybe you’re going about it wrong. Do you have a dating road map?
Please read on. This article will give you the basics necessary to date successfully.
In my other career as a job search strategist, I devised an integrated system that helped my clients land good-fit jobs.
With a few adjustments, the same principles apply to dating to find the right partner.
I’m asking you to do a fair amount of introspective work here. If you’re truly serious about finding the right partner, you need to do the initial work . . . before you dive into actually going on dates.
The Mature Dating Road Map To Finding True Love Faster
My dating road map zeroes in on:
- Knowing yourself and what you need
- Targeting or knowing who your ideal partner is
- Writing your online dating profile
- Networking to find people to date
- Going on dates
- Making a commitment to one person
The following posts will take you through each step in the dating road map. Just click on each link for more details.
This first step is critical. Without doing this work, the other steps will not come together.
The better you know yourself, the better you’ll be at picking the right people to date.
The more specifically you can speak to people about yourself, and write about yourself in your online dating profiles, the more likely you’ll connect with a kindred spirit.
Knowing yourself will help you pinpoint what traits will be important to you in your ideal partner.
If you don’t have a clear idea of what kind of person will be right for you – before going on first dates – how will you know them when you see them?
Some of the things you should do to pinpoint who your ideal partner is:
- Look back at past failed relationships and determine why they failed, and how both you and your partner contributed to the failure.
- Make a list of your core values and things you need in a relationship.
- List the personal/physical attributes and character qualities they must and must NOT have.
- List the lifestyle and activities/interests you want to share with them.
Doing this work will save you time in the long run. You’ll be much better able to weed out people who aren’t right for you.
First, embrace online dating as probably the best way to find your true love, since most mature singles over 60 are there, looking for people like you.
The trick to being successful with online dating is to create a profile that stands out . . . in a good way.
To attract your ideal partner, tell her or him who you are, specifically, in your online dating profile . . . and generate chemistry for who you are.
Write content that differentiates what makes you unique from others like you.
A profile that reads pretty much the same as every other man or woman on the sites won’t prompt people to want to reach out to you, as much as a profile that makes you stand out from the sea of other potential partners.
Finding people to date requires networking effort. If you’re wise you’ll embrace both real-life networking and social networking (online dating).
For real-life networking, think of all the people you know (family, friends, co-workers, etc.). Reach out to any of them you’re comfortable asking for referrals to eligible men or women. These may lead to dreaded blind dates, but worth doing.
But don’t stop there. Get out and make an effort to meet people on your own.
Get involved with activities you enjoy and/or at organizations that are meaningful to you. If you happen to meet someone, that’s great. If not, you’ll still be doing something worthwhile.
In this post, I offer many specific activities to meet people in real life.
If you’ve followed my step above, you’ve already written your online dating profile(s).
Once you’re relatively happy with your profile (you can always come back at any time and tweak it), start reviewing prospects’ profiles and reaching out to the right ones.
This post covers each step, as you begin dating:
- Setting Up the First Date
- Preparing For the Actual Date
- Navigating a Successful First Date
- Following Up After the Date
- Second and Third Dates . . . and Beyond
Unless you’re very, very lucky and meet “the one” quickly, you’ll be doing a lot of dating.
And that’s okay. It’s good practice to go on lots of dates. It helps you get better at reading people and knowing who will or won’t be good for you.
Try not to set your hopes too high with each new date. Think of it as “just a date”. Maybe you’ll be lucky, or maybe you’ll just have an interesting exchange and learn a little about another human being.
Are you coming into dating having only bad relationship experiences?
You may have a hard time knowing what a good relationship looks and feels like.
I think too many people go into dating – and first dates in particular – with a check list of acceptable and unacceptable superficial things that don’t contribute to a long-lasting, happy relationship.
Conversely, some people fall in love too easily. Someone paying a little attention to them is enough to make them rush into sex too early, or marriage too early.
In this post, you’ll learn the characteristics of long-lasting true love experienced by couples on their first dates.
Check out our two ebooks for plenty of dating tips and strategies for dating over 60 . . . from a woman’s and a man’s perspective:
I wish you great success in the dating game!