For anyone who says 60 and older is too old to find true love, or that you won’t find good people on the dating sites, Cosmo and I say, “Think again”.
We are shining examples, on both counts, that you most certainly can find true love at any age, and that online dating is a great place to do it.
But don’t just take our word for it.
Studies have shown that men and women over 50 believe they’re more romantic than when they were younger and that the stigma of online dating has been declining over the past decade or so.
To help you improve your search for true love, romance and happiness, I’ve compiled some of the better articles Cosmo and I have written on the subject.
Best Advice to Find True Love and Romance After 60 (from a woman’s perspective)
We all know the term “soulmate”.
A soulmate goes way beyond a life partner – someone you get along very well with and will live a happy, comfortable life with – also an admirable relationship to search for, but some may say you’re settling, if you’re seeking a life partner and not your soulmate.
Finding your soulmate is the ultimate in a relationship . . . someone with whom you’re utterly compatible and so deeply in tune that you seem to think the same thoughts and feel their feelings.
Both of your souls and beings are inexorably intertwined and in sync. You’re a perfect fit. This is the person you feel you were destined to be with.
Many of us who are dating again later in life have to suffer through some bad relationships before we’re ready for, or come in contact with, our soulmates.
If abiding, true love is what you’re after, you probably want to know if there are signs early on that will tell you whether or not he’s the real deal for you.
Sure, after a month or two most of us should be able to tell if we’ve hit the jackpot . . . if we’re paying attention and following our gut.
But what things should you feel, and look for in him that will give you some assurance that there’s the potential for his love to be as deep as yours?
Many things can indicate that they feel strongly for you, but perhaps the one ultimate way to know is when he regularly gives you what I call the “LOL” (look of love) or “the look”.
After a disastrous long-term marriage, I had first one happy (but short-term) relationship and now another one with Cosmo, which continues to chug along beautifully.
I like to think I’ve learned some things about what makes for a truly happy, healthy relationship.
Across that span of about 45 years all together, including two dating stints in there totaling about 2 years, I didn’t really “get” what a healthy relationship was until I had put my marriage and a serious drinking problem behind me.
When I started dating seriously after my divorce, my head still wasn’t on straight and I made some dumb choices in men.
Finally, after several months into my first dating go-round, I came to the realization that I was attracted to men who weren’t good for (or to) me.
I knew I had to rethink who my ideal partner was and, first and foremost, who I really was, and what I wanted my third act in life to be.
I began developing dating strategies to help me know which men to date.
Is addiction holding you back from finding true love?
Whether you’re an addict yourself or addicted to people who are addicts, this can be a big problem.
Active alcoholics and other drug addicts are not good candidates for serious relationships. Feeding the addiction(s) is an every day necessity, the top priority. They are not capable of giving and receiving love.
They use alcohol and/or drugs to mask deep-seated personal issues, which they’re not capable of resolving while they’re actively using.
The substance controls and drives every aspect of their lives.
You’ve been dating for what feels like ages.
Months and months – maybe years – go by and you still haven’t found true love.
Maybe you got lucky a few times and met someone you liked enough to have several dates with, but mostly you’ve been going on too many bad or so-so first dates that went no further.
Maybe you got very lucky once or twice, and had a long-term relationship with someone you thought might be “the one”. Then things fell apart or went bad. She/he wasn’t who you thought they were.
Dating, in and of itself, is stressful and time-consuming. Online dating – not to be overlooked if you’re serious about finding someone – presents its own issues and challenges.
You may be turned off to dating entirely. You may have decided that it’s not worth the hassles. You’d rather be alone.
Then again, you don’t like feeling so lonely. You want that special someone in your life.
If dating has been a big bust for you – for too long – maybe you’re going about it wrong.
Best Advice to Find True Love and Romance After 60 (from a man’s perspective)
If you’re a single man or woman over 50 entering the world of mature dating, there’s a good chance you haven’t dated since you were in your twenties. Don’t worry. It’s never too late to find true love at any age.
Cosmo offers seven ways that your search for love later in life is better today than it ever could be as a youngster. It could be enough to make a single millennial wish they were a boomer.
Based on his own experience, Cosmo noted good indicators that you’re not ready to date again:
- You’re confused or anxious about relationships in general, or relationships you’ve had.
- You have a track record of bad relationships.
- You have an addiction problem.
- You believe that there aren’t any good women out there, that it’s them, not you.
- You just broke up with someone or separated from your spouse.
In his post, you’re learn how he knew he was ready to let true love into his life.
If you’re a man over 60, it’s quite possible you’re re-entering the dating scene after a death or divorce.
Perhaps it’s been many decades since you’ve been on a date. Technology has evolved at warp speed. Online dating might feel like an impenetrable, puzzling world better left for millennials. And where do you start these days with offline dating?
Never fear. You can take comfort in the fact that human psychology never changes. When you come to understand your potential dates’ psyches and your own needs and wants, you rise above your ‘competition’.
An abundance mentality starts with the belief that there is indeed someone out there who is right for you and that you are worth it.
In fact, there are many such ideal partners out there, perhaps hundreds or thousands. You never have to settle.
An abundance mentality at its worst would say that even if there’s only one right person out there for me, we will meet.
It requires patience and the desire for a good, healthy relationship.
At 59 years old, Cosmo was coming down hard on himself. After two divorces and a failed long-term relationship, he figured it was best to give up the idea of finding a partner. He thought that perhaps his flaws were too great, or he was born without some key ingredient for relationship success.
But a fortuitous decision changed hisy thinking and put him on the path to finding his ideal partner, me.
He had gotten his life together pretty well . . . except for relationships. They were a mystery, a perpetual trek across thin ice which, for him, inevitably cracked. Again, and again.
One day, working through an exercise with his therapist, he had one of those “a ha!” moments, when in a flash, he understood everything. He could clearly see why the pattern had repeated itself as far back as he could remember. With equal certainty, he knew it would never happen again.
Try To Stay Positive, and Don’t Give Up
To encourage you to keep looking . . . if you sincerely want to find true love and romance: