Here on Smart Dating Over 60 we focus a lot on online dating.
It may be the best way to find love and romance, because so many people are on these sites . . . and the over 50 crowd continues to be one of the largest growing segments using online dating sites.
Also, Cosmo and I met through a dating site, and it’s very unlikely that we would ever have met otherwise . . . even though we lived across the street from each other for quite a few years.
Here are some of the sites we recommend. Most of them have been around a long time, have millions of members and have successfully brought many people together:
eHarmony (our readers’ favorite online dating site)
Read more about them in Top 10 Best Online Dating Sites for Over 60: How To Choose and Use Them.
Best Advice on Using Dating Sites for Men and Women Over 60
Here are some of our most popular articles on online dating. But these are just a taste. Check out our online dating articles archive to tap into all our latest and past articles on this topic.
In this article, Cosmo says the question begets more questions, and it’s easy to see why a new dater might get overwhelmed about how to re-enter the dating scene.
For instance, what exactly IS traditional dating? No single method has been the standard long enough to be called traditional.
And what is online dating all about? Where does a newcomer start when there are thousands of dating apps and sites from which to choose? When you sign up, how does it all work?
Despite the questions, there is a simple way to think about dating that will help the newcomer find dating success.
In this article, Cosmo describes his struggles with relationships:
“When my last relationship ended, I gave up on ever finding true love. Relationships seemed to be out of the question for me so why bother to date? I believed there was an emotional demon lurking deep inside that simply couldn’t be exorcised.
Telling myself that it was my duty to abstain from future relationships, I was convinced it was the only way to avoid doing emotional harm to another.
That decision offered a sense of relief, calm, and acceptance. No more would I be plagued by an inability to successfully navigate a relationship.
And since there were to be no relationships, there wouldn’t be any dating. Yes, I was ready to give up on true love, companionship, sex, and true partnership.”
Opinions on this topic can get quite passionate.
One the one hand, there are plenty of skeptics about online dating and dating apps. On the other, there are others just as frustrated from trying to meet older singles via traditional offline networking.
Here on our blog, we routinely see people venting about one dating method or another.
For instance, some folks swear they’ll never use dating sites again.
Others say it’s impossible to find dates via traditional offline methods.
Others who have given up on finding compatible singles often blame it on a lack of eligible older singles in their area.
But there are compelling reasons to use a mix of methods to meet singles, no matter where you are searching geographically, or where you are in your dating journey. The reason for frustration often lies not in the online or offline method, but in how they use them.
If you’ve spent even a few weeks on the dating sites actively looking, you know why some people come to hate online dating:
- It feels like an unnatural way to meet someone.
- The costs can add up if you use more than one site, which is recommended.
- You may have had so many terrible experiences it’s hard to imagine you’ll ever have a good one.
- It seems like too many people who can’t get a date any other way are on these sites.
- You get ghosted too often.
- People don’t respond to your messages.
- The matches the dating apps make for you are all wrong for you.
- People post fake or deceptive photos of themselves.
The list goes on.
But persistence pays off.
My advice: Even if you’re discouraged, keep at it.
It worked for Cosmo and me. And it’s worked for many others.
If using dating apps feels alien to you or you’re afraid of it, I urge you to reconsider.
Go ahead and network with your friends and family to get dates, but also step into the online dating world.
Unless you have a very robust network of people who may know of people for you to date, online dating will probably provide many more prospects.
But before you dive in headlong, read my article for some things to consider. For a quick taste, here are 2 from my “do’s and don’ts” list:
- DON’T put up your dating profile and then sit back and wait for people to ask you on dates.
- DO go out on lots of dates to get experience, and understand better who you are and what you want.
The trick to being successful with dating apps is to create a profile that stands out . . . in a good way.
To attract your ideal partner, tell her or him who you are, specifically, in your online dating profile . . . and generate chemistry for who you are.
There’s not much you can do to jazz up and personalize the multiple choice questions about hobbies, activities, lifestyle, etc.
But the questions on dating sites that require short narrative answers, plus the longer narrative sections where you’re prompted to provide even more information about yourself, allow for lots of content.
Cosmo’s recommendation is to start with at least two or three of the major dating apps such as eHarmony, Silver Singles or Zoosk. It’s also a good idea to join one (or perhaps more) of the popular niche sites he lists in the article.
Make sure you can dedicate some time each week to be active on the site. Time availability is obviously unique to your situation and it’s a determining factor in how many sites or apps you should use. If you don’t devote regular time, you won’t have much luck.
If you’re retired, there is probably plenty of time. Still working? You’ll have to schedule time if you want to make it work.
Don’t spread yourself too thin by using more sites than you have time to manage.
This is a roundup of articles we’ve written about eharmony, including:
- Navigating Eharmony Compatibility Preferences for Senior
- 7 Essential eHarmony Profile Tips for Seniors
- Master the Art of Messaging on eHarmony – A Guide for Seniors
If there was anything positive that came from the pandemic, online dating use shows that video dating might be it.
Global social distancing led to the acceptance of video chat in all walks of business and personal life. Online dating is no exception.
Prior to video dates, the next logical step after initial messaging, emails, and phone calls would be an in-person first date. Video dating adds another logical step to the process that people are embracing.
In this article, Cosmo details two ways to get involved with video dating:
- Dating sites where you can chat live with potential dates within the site or app.
- Video chat platforms not affiliated with dating apps and sites. They were around before the pandemic but really took off during it.
Just to clarify: Video chat is not the same as uploading a video to your profile. Most sites allow you to add videos to your profile for potential dates to watch at their convenience. Although it’s not interactive, it is one more way to get a better feel for your personality.
Wouldn’t it be great to get some free help to write your online dating profile?
If you’ve been using the dating sites and without much luck, maybe your profile isn’t attracting the right people.
Most people struggle with writing the narrative part of a dating profile, or don’t realize how important that part of the profile really is.
When I was seriously dating using these sites, I spent plenty of time perusing men’s profiles and was most attracted to (and likely to reach out or respond to) men whose profile narratives actually said something.
I was especially drawn to profiles that differentiated those men from the sea of other men who had minimal or same-old information in the narrative section.
Artificial Intelligence (AI), in general, and ChatGPT, specifically, have been in the news so much lately, I’m sure you’re aware of them.
Online dating can be intimidating at any age, especially when it comes to writing that all-important first message to an online dating match.
And it’s even more daunting for singles over 60 who may not be familiar with the modern dating scene and its reliance on dating sites and dating apps.
However, with the right mindset and a little bit of effort, online dating can be a great way for seniors to meet new people and possibly even find love.
The first message sets the tone for the rest of the conversation and can be the difference between a promising connection and a missed opportunity. As the old adage says, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
You’ll need to create a magnetic dating profile for each of the sites you belong to. Something that will attract attention and interest in you.
That means that, like it or not, you’ll need at least a few good photos of yourself to put on your online profiles.
But what if you don’t have any good pix of yourself, or you think the way you look won’t help you get dates?
You can certainly use dating sites without putting any photos on your profile, but don’t expect too much to happen.
The vast majority of people DO have photos on their profiles.
Put yourself in the shoes of people looking through dating profiles and landing on yours, that has no photos at all.
What’s the first thing you would think?
You’d wonder what was wrong with that person. What were they trying to hide?
And you’d move on to the next profile.
Give yourself a fighting chance. Post a few photos. It’s not that hard for anyone to get some decent pix.
5 Ways Your Online Dating Expectations May Be Unrealistic
It’s easy to have unrealistic expectations with these sites. They kind of set you up for it. As soon as you log on, you’re looking at a sea of people, any one of whom could be “the one”.
Naturally, with such a huge pool of potentials, you expect to hit the jackpot quickly. But it’s best not to set yourself up for disappointment.
My 5 unrealistic dating site expectations are detailed in these two articles:
If you’re a non-drinker and in recovery, dating (online or otherwise) can be tricky, and sometimes risky, if you’re not mindful.
I know it was for me.
I had been sober for more than 5 years when I first started dating seriously, leading me to Sam.
At first, I didn’t rule out dating men who drank, as long as they didn’t drink much.
It didn’t make sense to me to further limit the already small pool of eligible men in their sixties, living nearby in this rural, sparsely-populated area. The pickin’s were pretty slim to begin with.
After a few unpleasant experiences, I realized I could only be with someone who was also a non-drinker, so I didn’t look twice at men who were even very moderate drinkers.
We’ve put together a nifty ebook to help you avoid some of the mistakes we made, and find love and romance with your ideal partner.
Whether you’re a new or long-time user of dating apps, this ebook has down-to-earth tips you can start using today.
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